I have tolerated this marriage for 19 years due to the kids and just can't do it any longer. Every effort to get him to help fix us failed over the years. Finally in December I gave him an ultimatium to change his behavior and actions or I was filing for divorce. It wasn't 2 weeks and he was back at it or trying to. So I informed him at the end of March I wanted a divorce. he agreed then acted as if nothing was said. A week later I confronted him again about a divorce and he agreed. Then I told him I had put my life on hold for 19 years while he hs been running around and I wasn't any longer and was going to start dating. He agreed. I went on one innocent date and 2 days later he had an ephiphany on life and decided he din't want a divorce and has completely changed (no drinking since April, no running around or out all night as before). I'm sorry but I'm not interested! It is way too late! I spent 19 years of raising our 6 kids and laying up until 3, 4 or 5 am wondering where he was and who he was with and how drunk he would be too many times! All I hear now is give him one more chance! I can't tell you how many chances I have given him already!
I went and had the consult with the lawyer and even went & paid to have everything started but went back a week later and got a refund and put it on hold. I just can't take the hate, hostility, threats, etc! I only make around $30,000 per year and can't afford to move out. The house is too much for me to cover on my own too! I just had surgery and decided to let him think I am giving him his second chance to calm thingsdown until I heal. I don't love him and he is driving me crazy! he is so far up my butt and going so out of the way to change that the kids and I are going crazy! It is over kill and just too late!
I am hoping he will calm down and start to understand why I am where I am and inderstand that we would both be happier apart. He confronted me about 4 years ago and said he didn't want to be married to me anymore. Every time I asked him how he felt about me over these last 6 years he kept saying he didn't know???? Now all of a sudden he is so in love with me?????
Has anyone else been in this situation? I am so worried about the kids and of course he is threatening for primary custody w shared visitation. I am going to schedule counseling too so he understands how and why I am where I am and how I can't go back.
Any thoughts?
